


SPACE

by Im_ur_Misconception



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Magic, Mysticism, Romantic Comedy, getting Cousy in Space: A Space Related Daisy/Coulson Mini Event
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-06-08 23:53:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15254835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_ur_Misconception/pseuds/Im_ur_Misconception
Summary: This is the story leading up to BixLu week Prompt. There will be no summary, just read it if you want to know. This is a gift fic for GemNika who convinced me that I should make it a multi-chapter story. Please Read & Review.





	1. Fleeting Rationale

**Author's Note:**

  * For [GemNika](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GemNika/gifts).



> [A/N: I do not own Fairy Tail or it's characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.]
> 
> [A/N2: So, after a long talk with fellow Author GemNika, that BixLu prompt is now going to be a multi-chapter story, dedicated to her and her type of crazy that matches mine. Love you, babe, hope you like the how they get there part of the story.]

**** Giggling loudly, Lucy just watched a very drunk Freed get on a table and tried to mimic Vijetter as everyone cheered him on. It was hilarious to see. Though even through her own drunk haze of alcohol, she was impressed at how flexible and fluid the rune mage really was. 

 

The sound of wood splintering had Lucy circling her body over her mug of dark ale. Her nose wrinkling as the sound of Natsu laughing rang over the noise of the guild in the throes of another epic Fairy Tail party. She'd lost count of how many they'd had since the defeat of Zeref, his twelve generals, and Acnologia. Everything in Fiore had changed as people put their lives back together. 

 

She was glad her family was alive and just as destructive as before. Though it was obvious that they had changed. Even if it was not easily noticeable to outsiders. The war had affected each of them into own way. Hers was not on the surface, but it had her more aware of just how fragile life really was.

 

**000**

 

He'd declined to be shitfaced. Causing Cana to whine at him. He was always her drinking buddy. Up for a raucously good time. But tonight, tonight he just wanted to watch his guildmates. Enjoying their antics. Including his own stick up the ass teammate who was busting some wicked moves. Knowing Freed would be sore and not remember why. Meaning he'd be able to tease him without mercy.

 

Letting his gaze move from the amusing spectacle, Bickslow saw Natsu being tackled to the ground by Romeo and Wendy. Gray smugly smiling as he stalked back into the fray. Pieces of wood stuck in his hair. Telling Bickslow he'd been the one to be tossed. It made him happy that both Gray and Natsu were still friends after they'd both learned Natsu was E.N.D., Zeref greatest creation.

 

Continuing his perusal of his guildmates. His eyes landed on Makarov and Erza. Present and past leaders. Both who'd given so much to the guild. They were beacons of light and strength. Not just to him, but everyone in the whole guild. Each had helped him grown into the mage he was now. And the confidence to walk around without his helmet on. Since his magic was often very misunderstood.

 

Feeling nostalgic, Bickslow lifted a hand, letting papa set down, his angry face looking back at him. His first baby was really the man who'd found him as an abandoned child. He'd been a gruff man. Having cuffed Bickslow more times than he could even remember to count. Also a seith mage. Though he'd done his best to teach him, Bickslow was not a patient person at that time.

 

"Boy.. none of that!" Papa barked. 

 

Smiling Bickslow tossed the totem up. Micky was right, he shouldn't dwell on his past. So looking out at the guild again, he paused as his eyes locked on the guilds own Celestial Mage. Her face flushed dark from how much she drank. Which disturbed him a bit. Before the war, she hardly drank. Now every day she did.  And he was sure she was turning into a mini Cana from the lecherous grin on her face. 

 

From experience, he knew the normally bubbly blond packed a punch. During the Fantasia incident, she'd laid him out with Lokes, now Leo's, help. Her mind was as dangerous as her curves. But Bickslow knew that she had scars that ran as deep as his own. The loss of her spirit in the battle with Tartaros, abandonment of the guild, her family, and home, then the war. Yeah, he knew some part of her was waiting for the pain to hit again.

 

He started when she turned her head and looked directly at him. It sent his blood rushing to his ears and other parts. That smile should be illegal. Only to have her picked up and tossed over Natsu's shoulder The sound of her laugh had him turning his back to the crowd downstairs. Figuring he'd never get a girl like Lucy for his own.

  
  


**_TBC_ **

 

8th Day: (7/11/18)

Apocalypse: E.N.D. : (7/11/18)

Death Bonded: (7/11/18)

Devil in the deal: (7/11/18)

Diabolik Miko Diaries: (7/11/18)

Down the Rabbit Hole: (7/11/18)

Fallen Star: (7/11/18)

Feast of Flesh: (7/11/18)

Fighting for Enlightenment: (7/11/18)

Forbidden Fruit: (7/11/18)

His Brother; Blood & Magic: (7/11/18)

How it Should Be: (7/11/18)

Juxtaposition: (7/11/18)

Obsession: (7/11/18)

Past, Present, & Future: (7/11/18)

Predation: (7/11/18)

Red String of Fate: (7/11/18)

Science of Love: (7/11/18)

Silver Memories: (7/11/18)

So in Love with Two: (7/11/18)

SPACE: (7/11/18)

The Choices we Make: (7/11/18)

The Taste of a Rose: (7/11/18)

Tolerably, Intolerable: (7/11/18)

Twisted Fate: (7/11/18)

We All Fall Down: (7/11/18)

Zero to Gundam: (7/11/18)


	2. Problem's that don't Float

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [A/N: I do not own Fairy Tail or it's characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.]

Cracking bleary, crusty eyes, Lucy grimaced as what little light shone in the dim room made pain lance through her head. Groaning she let her eyes slid shut again. The pain was not her friend and this feeling was becoming all too familiar to her. This made what, like the fifth or sixth time she had drunken herself to oblivion? And she was more than aware of the fact it had been noticed by her teammates. Gray had approached her first at the third time she got blitzed. Which she just laughed off. 

 

Then came Natsu, at her apartment no less, trying to be rational with her. It had made her very cross and she had literally punted him out, through her wall and not the window, to the street below. Then had to go on a small, single person mission to get enough Jewels to fix the damned wall. Next was Erza, last night she knew she had said some very rude things. Vaguely recalled the hurt in her friend's brown eyes. Alcohol was making her mean and nasty. But they had no right to tell her she was harming herself. She was a fucking adult for cripes sake and it was her choice to drink. No one complained about Cana!

 

Shifting her body, whimpering at how stiff she felt, Lucy cracked her eyes open again, hissing as the crusties at the corner of both eyes dug into the sensitive tissue of her tear ducts. Glancing around her room, Lucy noticed that this was not her room. Causing panic to set in at a rapid pace. It was a foreign room, definitely masculine in nature. A bit plain, as if the person had no concept of what interior decorating was at all. Making her curl her lip as she thought about what had happened after her little spat with Erza. 

 

She had left the guild, angry and barely able to walk. Hell, she was sure if she looked at her knees they'd be scraped up badly. Lucy recalled, just barely, falling down two or three times. Then there was a deep voice that was both familiar and not at the same time. The person asked if she needed help. Of course, in her angry alcohol-induced haze, Lucy had taken the good-natured offer wrong and did something. Then the world was shifting and she recalled before passing out being carried, feeling the warmth radiating through only one half of her body. Now, now she was Star's only knew where in a strange man's house. 

 

Swallowing to try and force spit to moisten her mouth and throat, Lucy slid her legs over the edge of the bed, fighting off a wave of nausea that came with her massive hangovers. Envy for Cana who seemed to never get those. Being careful, Lucy put her feet on the floor, surprised that the wood was warm to her feet. Like really warm, causing her to look down at it, wondering if this guy, creeper that he was for bringing her unconscious to his house and sleeping with her, had heated floors. Sniffing to dismiss that train of thought, Lucy took stock of her appearance, realizing she was still completely dressed, her belt with keys and whip still at her waist. Just her shoes had been removed. 

 

This had her a bit confused, but she was not about to question it as she half walked and half tottered to the only door in the room. Her hand grasping both the doorknob and the wall as another wave of nausea hit her. With deliberate slowness, she turned the knob and pulled the door open. She didn't know where this person was,  who it was for that matter, and wanted to escape with her dignity before they thought to expect shit from her for helping her. 

 

What she saw on the other side of the door left her stunned and leaning against the doorframe. There was again a simple and plain living room, that was also homey. It held an extra long couch whose back was to her, a small, ornately carved coffee table and matching end tables at either end of the couch and next to the only chair, which was a blue leather recliner. A simple cream shag carpet set off the dark stained pine wood. The far side of the room had a writer's desk that had a scroll pull down top, and hand carved chair. A small entertainment system that had a rather large radio instead of Lacrima Vision TV on it. Loads of CDs everywhere. 

 

Darting her eyes around, she saw a few pictures on the wall, all of the landscapes that were very obviously hand sketched and painted to boot of the ocean, hills outside of Magnolia and a few mountainscapes. Each framed in simple, again hand carved, lightly stained pine wood frames. It told her a lot about this random person. They were artistic and liked to live simple. That and their plain taste was actually very homey. 

 

"Lucy?" 

 

At the sound of her name, she whipped her head to where the voice came from. Only to clamp her lips shut and take a deep breath to keep from vomiting at the sudden movement. Eyes slamming shut in an effort to help keep from emptying her damned stomach's contents of the night before. Alcohol and more alcohol. Not exactly a  good choice, but the pain of loss had to be numbed. 

 

"Hey, breathe or you'll pass out, Lucy." 

 

At the sound of the voice, which was now right before her, as she felt warmth rolling off of whoever this person was, Lucy cracked her eyes open. Grimacing at the crusties once more hurting her. She saw a slender torso, that was covered in a worn black 'Axis of Awesome' t-shirt. A parody band she loved to pieces. Tilting her head up she froze as her eyes met dark red eyes that were clearly worried. Flinching a bit back and dropping her gaze, because she didn't know what to say or do. And instinct said to not meet 'his' eyes. Or the eyes of any of his teammates. 

 

Exhaling as she heard a slightly pained whimper from the man before her. She knew her action of not meeting his eyes hurt. And right now all she wanted was to leave. Why did he even bring her to his house? Why help her? He didn't know her and other than their two brief encounters of Fantasia and on Tenrou when they fought, he had nothing to do with her. 

 

"You are right on all those accounts, Lucy. But you are Nakama. And I found you stumbling and hitting your knees. Which by the way I bandaged. You passed out before answering me where you live, so I brought you here. Again, Nakama, I will help you regardless," he said softly. 

 

She watched as he backed up giving her space. His arms crossed over his chest as she just looked at his shirt. A small smile playing across her lips as she recalled one of her favorite little shows for the band called 4  Chord Song. And she knew that he was right. He had done nothing wrong. Hell, from the looks of how rumpled he was, he'd given her his bed. 

 

"Great Band," she said awkwardly. 

 

This had a low, deep rumbling chuckle coming from him. Causing Lucy to jerk her head up to look at him again, just to have the world rush around her. That was not a sound she had ever expected to hear from one of the guilds biggest clowns and perverts. It was a nice sound. But first, she had to regain her now failing balance thanks to her quick movements. Reaching out on instinct she grasped the front of his shirt as she fell forward. 

 

"Dammit Lucy, you need to get some toast and water in you, then you can have a cup of coffee," he said. 

 

Then she was being picked up as if she weighed nothing at all and was carried over to the couch and set down. Frowning as she was also bundled into a thin, but still, body warmed wool blanket, Lucy watched as Bickslow walked out of the room. His large and lanky body moving with a grace she had never seen before. Each footfall on the wooden floor silent, as if he was feather light. Then her mind asked, where are his babies? 

 

**000**

 

He stood at his kitchen counter, waiting for the toast to finish. It was a huge risk he took when he had found Lucy on her hands and knees, the latter scraped and bleeding as she dry heaved. It was clear to him that she was pissed drunk again. And the last few times she had ripped into her teammates about it. He had heard her curt, demeaning cut down of Erza. That was a bashing he didn't want to witness, unlike the rest of the guild. So, he had left out Laxus' office window on his babies. Avoiding any and all attention he could have drawn to himself. 

 

His concern for the vivacious blond was his own. Not even his teammates knew his thoughts where she was concerned. Though, he knew all their thoughts and worries. He had just laughed it off and said she would be back to normal soon. Though, Bickslow knew that was not true. Whatever had caused that hurt that was making her drink to forget, it was not something easily resolved. But he knew from personal experience and caring for Cana, that Alcohol solved nothing. Just muted it and put it on the back burner until it festered and exploded. 

 

The click of the toaster as it finished drew him from his thoughts. Grabbing the four slices of hot bread, he tossed them haphazardly on a plate and picked up the glass of water. Making his way back into the living room of his small two bedroom house, Bickslow saw Lucy leaning over and tracing the patterns he had carved into his coffee table. Her eyes shining somewhat brilliantly from behind her hang-over. Delighting in finding each new image. That piece was one of his pride and joys. 

 

"Here Lucy, drink and eat, it will help," he said as he stopped next to her and set the food and drink on the table before her. 

 

When she peeked up at him through her blond bangs, Bickslow had to suppress the delight he felt at how grateful she looked. She was truly a beautiful person. And he could see her soul, how it was hurting and growing gray instead of that pure shimmering white and gold.  It bothered him. If he could get her to open up and talk about it, he was sure he could possibly help. Though he didn't know how or why he thought that, just that he was able to possibly help her with this problem. 

 

"Thanks..." Lucy mumbled as she nibbled slowly on a piece of toast. 

 

"You are welcome, Lucy," he said in reply moving to sit across from her in his reclining rocker. 

 

It squeaked from his weight before it leaned back. His frame was a bit too large for it, but he didn't care, it was comfy, well broke in. He had had it for almost fifteen years, and refused, even by the pain of death to give it up. This was his throne. The one major thing he looked forward to when he came home from a long mission, or just a rowdy day at the guild. Which Ironically was almost every day. That and listening to whatever type of music struck his fancy. 

 

"Bickslow?" 

 

At the sound of Lucy calling his name he blinked and looked at her. Realizing that he had gone off into his little head space, again. It had been a rather common occurrence since the end of the war. Often annoying his teammates, though they did understand. Each had experienced something that had shaken them to their core, on top of all of Fiore being completely rearranged. 

 

"Yeah?" he asked. 

 

"Uh, where are your babies? I have not seen them hovering around you," Lucy said, shoving the last bite of her current piece of toast in her mouth. 

 

This had him blinking before he laughed. His magic was different than others. And well, he could leave it on all the time and never feel the drain unless he used attack's like Baryon Formation and Crumble. So, this was rather amusing, to say the least for him. Not even his teammates knew this about him. Giving a small shake of his head, as he ran his hands over his puffy little blue mohawks on his head, feeling the short natural black stubble of his hair he had just buzzed a few days ago. 

 

"They are resting. My magic is special, kinda like yours. I do not have to turn it off at all, but they needed a rest and to be free of the totems," he stated bluntly. 

 

After saying it aloud, he felt pensive. He didn't talk about his magic, not ever, other than to just give a brief description of it dealt with the souls of those dead and unable to move on. But he was telling her this. Yes, he did like Lucy, check. Their magic was somewhat similar, check. She was definitely easy to talk to, check. And oddly he felt at ease like he could trust her completely. A feeling that was almost foreign to him. 

 

"Oh, well, that is definitely a unique aspect. Thanks for sharing," she said. 

 

He could tell she was grateful at him telling her.  And it made him feel a bit awkward. Most females he was around didn't give that vibe or level of honesty, except for Ever and Cana. But those two were a major part of his life. Lucy, she was an outsider. A Guild member, just like him. Someone he had limited interactions with. Both by choice and the fact her team was overprotective, with damn good reason. 

 

Deciding that he was getting a bit uncomfortable now, in his own house, Bickslow stood up suddenly. Stretching, since he didn't get a chance after waking up. He looked down at Lucy who was staring wide-eyed at him, her face showing her emotions clear. 

 

"Let's get you back to your house. I think you should clean up, before... going back to the guild," he said. 

 

The way she flinched, he knew she recalled some of last night. And the pain that flickered in her eyes was not that of loss, but guilt. Meaning she recalled what she had at least done to Erza in some small part. That was a can of worms she had to deal with. The red-headed titan was easily hurt by those she cared about. And frankly, he wanted no part of the result of drunk Lucy's actions pinned on him. He helped her. Got to see a side of her that was interesting. And felt the warmth of her genuine honesty. For him, at the moment, he was just grateful he had this time with her. Because he was sure he'd not be getting it anytime soon. 

 

**_TBC_ **

 

8th Day: 7/18/18

Apocalypse: E.N.D.: 7/22/18

Devil in the Deal: 7/29/18

Diabolik Miko Diaries: 7/29/18

Down the Rabbit Hole: 7/30/18

Face First: 8/8/2018

Fallen Star: 8/5/2018

Feast of Flesh: 8/7/2018

Fighting for Enlightenment: 8/5/2018

Forbidden Fruit: 8/8/2018

His Brother; Blood & Magic: 8/8/2018

How it Should Be: 8/8/2018

Juxtaposition:  8/12/2018

Life in the Seireitei's Squad 11: 8/12/2018

Obsession: 8/5/18

Past, Present, & Future: 8/12/2018

Predation: 8/12/2018

Red String of Fate: 8/21/2108

Science of Love: 8/21/2018

Silver Memories: 8/21/2018

So in Love with Two: 8/21/2018

SPACE: 8/22/2018

The Choices We Make: 

The Taste of a Rose: 

Tolerably, Intolerable: 

Twisted Fate: 

Unwanted Fraccion: 8/13/2018

We All Fall Down: 7/18/18

Zero to Gundam: 


	3. And the Truth HURTS!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is always a breaking point that tips a person balanced precariously on the edge. And for Lucy, hungover, freaked out that she woke in a fellow guild member's home. She found hers. And it shatters the weakened, cracked dam on her soul, her wounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.

Lucy sat there in the Guild Masters office. Glowering at three of her teammates. Who were currently immobilized and looking upset and confused. But then again she really didn't care. As her mind drifted to this morning. Waking up in Bickslow's small two bedroom home had been enough of a shock. Finding out that he was actually a gentleman with good taste in music was pleasant as the reality of the night before came rushing back. He had been exceptionally understanding. Then again he was a drinking buddy of Cana, so he was probably used to dealing with the morning after with an Alcoholic.

Yes, she mentally admitted it to herself that she had a problem. It didn't mean that what caused her to drink was fixed. No, if anything, it made her want to drink even more. Not that any fucking person really gave a flying fucking rats ass about it. Nope, and she was fine with that now.  Sighing as she shifted in her seat, dragging her eyes from her teammates to look at the Guild Master, Laxus Dreyar. Who was looking at her just as warily as the last member of her team was? 

This whole situation was due to the two that were tied up like they were in cocoons made out of rope, magical rope at that, thanks to Virgo. Bickslow had walked her back to her apartment. She was going to invite him into her space since he had helped her. But was stopped when she saw her window open and heard the sounds of scuffling coming from inside. Her already precarious mood soured quickly. Sighing as she looked at Bickslow, who had looked worried as he met her gaze. A small nod of his head said he understood as he turned and left. 

Lucy had promptly summoned Virgo and asked her to corral her teammates. The Spirit had been more than happy to do that. And by the time she had climbed the stairs to her apartment, Virgo had tied both Natsu, Happy and Gray up in the rope and was sitting on them, smiling darkly. While Lucy took stock of her apartment. There was ice on the walls, melting and scorch marks all over the place again. On top of her home being trashed again. And she didn't even have to look in her kitchen to know her freshly stocked fridge was open and either half-empty to completely empty. Nope, she knew this routine and it was the final tipping point. 

The look on her face had kept her teammates silent as she gave Virgo orders to take the trio to the Guild and the Guild Master's office. There was horror, betrayal, fear on their visages, not that she cared. After they were gone, Lucy had spent a bit cleaning up. Noticing the little box that she kept her letters to her parents in was cracked on one side, charred the other had sent her into a panic. The letters inside were a bit singed and she had cried again. Which was a bad thing to do with a hangover? Most definitely. Not bothering to shower or change, she had gathered up a few things and turned, leaving her apartment. Trying to do math in her head to figure out just how much she would need to make, and-or barrow to fix her home. Because she refused to let her Spirits do it for her.

"Lucy?" 

At the sound of Erza's voice, she blinked and let her eyes shift to the red-haired woman. Who shied away from her dark look. It had her frowning a bit more, but it was deserved. Even only partially able to recall all the nasty shit she had said to her friend last night. 

Taking a breath, Lucy sat up straight in her chair and began to speak, "I am sorry if I am inconveniencing you, Master." 

The slow shake of Laxus' head was all she needed. Then with another breath, Lucy struggled with her nerves and chaotic mental state. This was a long time in the coming. It needed to be done. Not just for her, either. 

"I had Virgo bring the three stooges here for a reason. On top of having Erza here as well," She stated slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Firs, Erza, I would like to apologize for what I said to you last night. It was uncalled for and being drunk is never an excuse. But, frankly, I wanted to be left alone. I am an adult of twenty-seven years and am more than able to do what I want. Deal with my own shit in my own way. And don't see why all of a sudden any of you four started giving a damn about my personal stuff. Not once did I get drunk on a mission and hinder it. Only drinking between missions and at the guild." 

There was silence at her words. She let her brown gaze shift from person to person, before landing back on Laxus, their newest Guild Master, behind the desk his grandfather had occupied for over three decades. 

"Luce... that is not true," Natsu said. 

Lucy knew she was visibly twitching as she saw Laxus' eyes go wide and heard the soft sound of fabric shifting against metal from Erza. Then with deliberate slowness, Lucy turned to look at Natsu. Not bothering to put on a smile, she let all her anger and disgust show clearly. 

"Really? FUCKING REALLY NATSU DRAGNEEL?" she screeched as she stood up. 

The way his olive eyes went wide as he shrank back didn't make her feel good. No, it hurt. But dammit, she had been hurting for two years. Swimming in a poisonous, fetid swamp of pain, and abandonment. 

"Blon-... Lucy, please try to calm down and explain," Laxus said, his voice a soft, deep rumble she found actually soothing. 

Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath. Lucy leaned back in the chair and counted backward from ten. A coping and had been for a long while now. 

"Yes, Guild Master, " she finally was able to bite out. 

When she opened her eyes, she put a thin smile on her face. A smile that one could find on Erza's when her cake was messed with, or Mirajanes when someone had done something to piss her off. And the reactions from everyone in the room had her feeling amused and sick at the same time. She always presented a happy smile and face to everyone in the guild. Pushed her own damn problems to the side to help others. Not. No. More!

"It is true, Natsu, Happy, Gray... even you Erza," She said, speaking softly. "None of you, or any in the guild except Levy and Gajeel, showed any concern after we took down Tartaros and the guild was disbanded. But because of something a certain person had done, I was technically unable to discuss it. And had to stay here after they both offered to have me come with them to join the Rune Knights." 

This had confusion appearing on everyone's face. And it had Lucy smiling darkly. Because it was the truth. Her own team had just abandoned her. 

"What do you mean, Lucy?" Erza asked, her voice soft and showed she was scared. 

"I'll tell you in a second. First I need Natsu to answer some questions," She said, giving her best friend her full attention. "Natsu, you were there when I made the contract with Canis Minor, Nikola, Plue. Can you tell me what the basis of my magic is?" 

She watched as his eyes narrowed as he thought about it before shooting wide. Not breaking eye contact with him as she waited. 

"Answer her question, Natsu," Laxus and Erza said in tandem when he took to long. 

"It is about contracts and bonds. Written, Verbal, physical, and emotionally," He finally replied as he tilted his head to the side as if he didn't get it. 

"Now, Natsu, what happens if I do something that breaks one of those contracts or bonds?" Lucy asked as she looked at the others quickly to gauge their reactions. 

"Lushy, you would lose your keys and your magic," Happy spoke up, his voice squeaky as he looked wide-eyed at her. 

She knew the little furry blue troll was smarter than he let on. And so was Natsu. The way horror reflected in their eyes was genuine and something she needed to see. But hearing the shocked gasp from the others had a coldness settling in her body. 

"Correct," she whispered. "Now, how that ties in, is that after Tartaros, which is its own situation that I will be addressing before we all leave this damn room, Natsu left that note in my apartment. And as you all heard he has a very clear understanding of how my magic works, he worded it just so that I was bound in a contract to do as he asked. When I would have rather gone with him." 

Her words came out heavy as she struggled to not cry. She couldn't, not now. Carefully she watched everyone's reactions. There was a small flicker of guilt in Natsu's eyes as he looked down and to the right. Happy outright avoiding meeting her gaze. Gray and Erza were in shock as they stared at her. Laxus, well his face was practically an unreadable mask, though his stormy blue eyes had darkened considerably. 

"But, Luce, I wouldn't trust anyone else to look after the guild but you. I didn't know that Gramps was going to disband Fairy Tail," Natsu said, pleading to her. 

She snorted and crossed her arms over her chest. Feeling the pain there in her chest. Letting the contempt she was feeling at his words show on her face as she sneered at him. 

"Well, that isn't my fault, now is it? NO. Because I wanted to help rebuild our guild, our HOME! Not you, you were only concerned about yourself. I get it... you and the other Slayers all found out a part of the truth. That your dragons souls were in your body. Trying to help and then passed on. You were hurting and wallowing in your own self-pity," she snapped. Watching as hurt and anger warred on his face. 

When he opened his mouth to say something, Lucy sprung from her seat and slammed her hand down on Laxus' desk. Making Natsu snap his mouth shut with an audible click. Eyes watching her with a wariness she craved to see. 

"You didn't think that anyone else had suffered. You didn't think about those in the guild. Nope, you wrote me a letter, wording it so that you knew I would be bound here until you came back from training. Then the guild was disbanded and everyone left. Leaving me behind," she said. Each word louder than the less as her anger finally crested. "NOT a single person on my own Team fucking gave a second thought to me as you all left. Thinking that weak, pathetic, always needing to be protected Lucy was fine. As she was hardly hurt during the attack from Tartaros." 

The way everyone flinched, including Laxus, made her laugh aloud like she was losing it. And maybe, just maybe, she was. 

"That battle was for all of Fiore, if not Earthland, to lose their magic. Being slaves to the Demons that Zeref created. We all were at risk. Do any of you have an idea of what I was doing while you fought your own battles?" She asked, tapping her fingers on the desk.

"You were safe in the guild, Lucy," Gray spoke up, his voice very uncertain. 

Again she laughed, this time it was dark, menacing. When she finally stopped, Lucy bared her teeth and hissed at them all. 

"WRONG! I was in the giant flying Cube. Trying to find a way to bring it down. And we don't want to admit it, but that was a battle we were losing," she growled loudly to them. "But then, all of a sudden, the tide turned and we were able to kick some serious Demon ASS. It wasn't due to the fact that we are awesome, powerful mages of Fairy Tail. We are fallible. Human. Selfish creatures to think it was because we are 'family'." 

Her words cut, she knew it by the way everyone but Natsu was looking away. She had just stabbed them in their pride. And that was a dangerous thing to do with Natsu. But he was quite incapable of breaking the rope or really accessing his magic. Lucy knew that Virgo told them the rope had Magic Canceling abilities when in reality it severely suppressed magical ability. 

"You... know what happened to turn the fight in our favor?" Erza asked it was clear she was struggling to figure out how and why. 

"Yes, Erza, I do," Lucy spat, curling her hand into a fist, lifting it up and slamming it down a few times as the pain of the memories came crashing through her like a wrecking ball. "While I was trying to find the place that made Tartaros fly in the sky to disable it, I ran into Mard Geer Tartaros himself. And he immediately tried to kill me. Not because was an annoying little fairy, or even human. But because he instantly recognized my magic. I fought him. And almost died before I summoned Aquarius and she knocked him down with her water attack. Giving me a chance to run." 

At her words, she felt her eyes began to burn. So, she blinked, forcing the tears gathering there to fall like hot, scalding lava to her cheeks. 

"Mard Geer was a very arrogant bastard. He bragged about how all of Tartaros was under his command. That the flying cube was in sync with him. Meaning he goes down, the damn thing would be crippled," she said, her voice high pitched from her own pain. "Aquarius told me that to take him down I'd need to do something big, drastic. Of course, I had been most willing to do whatever she said if it saved all my friends and family. Even if it meant my life." 

At her words, she noted how everyone paled, even Natsu, while again flinching. She knew that everyone in the guild was aware she was a forgiving person. That she wouldn't really hold a grudge. Well, people change based on their environment and how they are treated. Meaning she was not immune and after all these years, that day things had changed. 

"Now that I think about it, you haven't used Aquarius for a while now," Gray stated, his voice cracking. 

Smiling darkly as she looked at him. Her other hand had been on her belt pouch this whole time. Slipping it in, Lucy grasped the two broken pieces of her former spirits key. Pulling her now fisted hand out, she turned just enough to set it on the desk surface. A part of her screamed that they were not worthy of this knowledge. That she shouldn't be showing them the main cause of her pain. Carefully she forced her fingers to uncurl, hearing the soft thunk as the two dull gold metal hit the desk, before lifting her hand up revealing it. 

The resounding gasp from her teammates and low grunt from Laxus had Lucy huffing. She was sure that they were upset, but frankly, she didn't think they had a damn right to be. Not with everything that had transpired since she made her choice. Sacrificed what she had. 

"I balked before she browbeat me in that mean, bitchy manner of hers. It was the second time in my life I had summoned the Celestial King to our realm. The first when I saved Loke because he was dying," she said, her voice quivering as she cried more tears. And I found out that Sei-roo, or 'Stache Face and Mard Geer knew each other. That they were longtime enemies. The fight ended with 'Stache Face stoning Mard Geer. But the fact that during our war with Alvarez, Zeref had the book of E.N.D. meant that he hadn't died when stoned." 

Lucy dropped her head, refusing to look at everyone. She let the weight of what she said sink in. Waiting for them to start speaking. 

"Lucy, you didn't say anything. Why?" Erza asked. 

"Damn, Lucy, if I had known I'd have stayed with you," Gray muttered. 

"Lushy... I am sorry," Happy wailed. 

"I didn't know, Luce," Natsu said. 

Laxus said nothing. She was grateful as she gave a dry laugh and lifted her head up and looked at them. Knowing her scorn was clear on her face. 

"Really? Because you know you all fucking care about me... Since we became a team you all invade my home, eat my food so I have nothing, sleep in my bed uninvited, trash my stuff. Or go through my personal effects," Lucy snapped, her voice again raised. "Not once over the years we have been a team have any of you really asked how I am? What is going on in my personal life? No, you haven't. And this morning was the last fucking straw. I either never have enough, or just barely enough, to pay my rent, put food into my home, and fix the damage that is done when you all invade and fight in that tiny little apartment."

The deep, angry growl erupted from Laxus stopping anything that her teammates could say. Quieting them into silence. 

"Is that true?" Laxus asked. 

When her teammates didn't speak up and found other things to look at, she knew Laxus had his answer. Making him growl again. 

"Before you fly off the handle, let me finish please, Laxus," Lucy asked in a softer voice. 

When he nodded his head, Lucy took a deep breath and met the gazes of her friends, her teammates. Seeing varying looks and emotions on their face. 

"I only had to ask Erza once before she respected my wishes, apologizing. Gray took a few times. Though in his defense, he mostly shows up when he realizes that Natsu has slipped in through my window. Often that results in a fight and damages I have to repair. It is amazing that my Landlady hasn't kicked me out yet," She explained, all while watching Laxus' face soften a bit more as he cooled. "The only two who don't seem to get it is Natsu and Happy. And I am sick of it. Having my home broken into, my food is eaten, my stuff ruined, and being called fat and any other insult that Happy can think up." 

"That's not true Luce. You know Happy is only teasing when he says that stuff. And you haven't said anything about me being in your home in a long time," Natsu yelled at her. "Besides your home is nicer, cleaner than mine. And you always have food.

Lifting an eyebrow as she stared down at her best friend, before letting a small smile curl her lips. 

"Oh, no Natsu, I quit saying anything because I got tired of repeating my damn self. You never listened, nor does Happy. His word hurt. You often forget I am a person and treat me like I am a part of your treasure hoard," She screamed at him. "I have been to your house. It is filled with things you value, which I can respect. Hell, I have even cleaned it for you with no thanks. But the fact that there is dirt, dust and an infestation of insects everywhere, plus mold because you don't wanna fucking be an adult and clean up your own mess doesn't mean you can just break into my home constantly and ruin my stuff." 

Shock flashed across Natsu's face as she laid it out for him. Yelling with intent. Something she had never done before. Happy whimpered from his spot before Natsu. 

"She is right, that isn't nice. If you say she is your friend Natsu, Gray, then you should have respected her wishes the first time she stated them," Laxus said admonishing them. "Lucy continue with what you have to say. Because I can tell there is more than just what happened with Tartaros." 

Blinking owlishly at Laxus in surprise. Just to see that there was some wisdom in his eyes. Then again she knew he was always watching the guild. Had been since he'd been accepted back into it for that matter. 

"Yes, Master Laxus," she said softly. "I sunk further into misery after encountering Acnologia during the War with Alvarez." 

She sighed as she picked up Aquarius' key and looked at it. Then returned it to her pouch. Lucy was doing her best to not become a blubbering mess. The memory of that day was something she still had nightmares about. Moreso since she had literally forced her spirits to spill a lot of stuff. 

"He called me Anna. Anna is the name of the first Heartfilia Celestial Mage in my family line. From four hundred years ago. I was shocked when he called me by her name. Then saw the rage in his face, mixed with hate. Leaving me very confused before the shit hit the fan," Lucy explained as she let her eyes glaze over. "We all learned a lot. Lost even more during that war. On top of Ilene rearranging all of Earthland. So much knowledge was gained. The knowledge that I am pretty sure we'd be better off without." 

As she trailed off, Lucy just stared blankly at the wall. Recalling the long conversations she had with all of her spirits. A small part of her glad that the others hadn't spoken up. 

"After the battle with Zeref and Mavis now dead, E.N.D Taken care of and everyone now rebuilding I did some personal research. I forced my spirits... against their wills to give me answers," Lucy muttered as she fought back a sob. "And what I learned was not pretty." 

The soft intake of breath from those in the room spoke volumes without words. She preached about her spirits not being tools, but her friends and family. That she took great pains to never force things on them. And just admitted she did. 

"Yeah, I broke my cardinal rule. Hell, even 'Stache Face was shocked as he had Loke bring me to the Celestial Realm. He, himself, gave me my answers," Lucy explained, feeling her legs get weak, so she sat back in the chair. "I learned that four hundred years ago, Anna Heartfilia was one of the few Celestial Mages. The first to ever own all the Zodiac Keys. Which technically all belong to my family..." 

Once more she trailed off, letting her mind shift and sort through the haze of her emotions. Feeling more tears well up and spill from her eyes as she just stared at the wall. It didn't hold any answers for her, but she knew it wouldn't try to empathize with her either. 

"Anna Heartfilia was a friend of Acnologia... and Zeref. And had watched as Acnologia slaughtered the dragons before turning into one himself after his village and the woman he loved was brutally killed. Zeref at that time had become cursed with Ankshram's Curse trying to revive his deceased little brother. Which he did, setting our path into motion. To make sure the future would be secure, she used all twelve Zodiac Keys, the only keys to open the Eclipse Gate safely, to send five small children chosen and trained by dragons four hundred years into the future as a safety net." 

The sharp intake of breath from everyone, as the sound of uncomfortable shifting filtered into her ears, Lucy smiled again. It didn't matter. They needed to hear this. She... by proxy of her family... had given so much and didn't even know it. 

"She had her life span shortened for it. But now...one of many futures would be safe," Lucy muttered. "And I know you all know my mother died when I was seven. Well, I found out that was due to her opening the Eclipse Gate to let all five Dragon slayers into this timeline. But, unlike Anna, she was missing one of the Zodiac Keys. Meaning... my own mother selflessly used her own life force to open the gate. Thus signing her own death warrant. Heartfilia is the name taken by any man that marries a woman baring that name. Every damn female born looks like Anna. Magically we are cloned, though we are born the natural way. And every woman born is a Celestial Mage, there are no males born from a Heartfilia until our lineage full filled our job to open the Eclipse Gate to allow the young Slayers to come through." 

Tearing her eyes away from the wall, she graced everyone in the room with a detached, unfeeling look. Noting the shock on their faces. 

"Luce, are you saying that...." Natsu started to say but trailed off as she looked at him.

"I am saying just that. My family is bound to your family. Was tasked with a job that made it so we could only bare one child and a female at that," she hissed as her voice raised once more into a shrill screech. "And yes, I am saying that my mother died for you and the other slayers. But, before anyone asks me, NO... NO, I do not hold it against them. Because without the Slayers Fiore, possibly Earthland, would have been destroyed over and over again. Besides, when cosmic deities decide the fate of a person and their family line all one can do is just go with it."

Again silence filled the room. Heads were hung. Remorse showing on their faces. Honestly, Lucy knew she should feel something but didn't. 

"Lucy, is that why... you were able to do what you did with the book of E.N.D.?" Gray asked. 

Blinking as she slowly nodded her head. Recalling the pain and loss of her own life force to rewrite it. 

"Yeah. My families connection to Natsu's. Though, you saw the pain, what you didn't see was that the book was eating my soul, life force," she whimpered as she hugged herself. "I didn't care then and don't care now. I would do it again to keep Natsu alive." 

A heavy, solemn silence filled the office. All eyes were trained on her. It was obvious they were thinking about everything she had just unloaded as she just tried to comfort herself. Wanting to sink into her own mind and wallow. Something she couldn't do yet, no, there was still more. Standing up, she grabbed her satchel bag she had brought, Lucy opened it and pulled out two manilla envelopes and one small plain, regular envelope. 

"Master Laxus, based on what I have seen in reactions from my teammates had decided the course of my next actions," Lucy stated as she shuffled the two Manilla envelopes before placing one on the desk. 

"Lucy?" Laxus asked, looking at her then the envelope and back again. 

"I put a lot of thought into this decision. Ever since we got the guild back together," she stated in a loud and clear voice. "And I feel that this is the best course of action. In that packet is my letter of resignation to leave Team Natsu, temporarily. All the paperwork is filed correctly, all it needs is your signature and seal as Guild Master of Fairy Tail. For it holds the royal seal from Hisui on it already." 

She paused and waited. It hadn't taken long before her teammates began to clamor in protest. But the loud thump from Laxus slapping his hands on the desk forcing them to be quiet. Though the air was now very tense. 

"Please, explain your reasoning as to why you are choosing to 'temporarily' leave your team," Laxus asked her. 

Giving a small nod of her head, Lucy shifted to face her teammates, taking a deep breath to steady herself, "With all, I just shared with you, I am not really surprised that you are trying to convince me to not do this. Proving you aren't caring about what I want. What I know I need to do for myself." 

Her words had them going very still as they stared at her. Erza slowly nodding her head and looking honestly repentant. Something she knew that she wouldn't have to question. Gray looked hurt, but his face relaxed enough that she could tell he was only grudgingly accepted it but didn't like it. Happy looked crushed and on the verge of crying. While Natsu looked like he was going to blow his top. 

"Do you three want to know what is in the other two envelopes? I'll tell you. The other manilla envelope is the necessary paperwork, again all filed and stamped by Hisui, needing Laxus' signature and Guild Seal on it, to leave Fairy Tail completely. And the little envelope is a 'permanent' Farewell Letter," she stated in a cold, blunt manner. 

Horror appeared really quick on everyone's face as understanding dawned on them. She had laid out her options. Hoping they understood that she was giving them the nicer option. 

"You... actually thought too..." Natsu whispered, his voice breaking with raw emotion. 

"Yes, right after Tartaros and giving up Aquarius to save you all. Then being abandoned... I got so shit faced I wrote this and contemplated it before just tucking it away. At that point, it would have not mattered since no one was here, having abandoned me," she said seriously. "But instead I kept on living, drinking to numb myself from all the memories, the nightmares, being alone." 

Another long silence filled the office before Laxus spoke up, "I will grant this Lucy. And I understand your reasoning and glad you didn't take your own life." 

Smiling sadly she nodded her head. "Thank you. I want a few days to myself to decompress. Come to my own terms. No people visiting or intruding at all. Then, before I come back from my mini exile, I will see the mage shrink in town and get cleared to be able to take a Mission."

Before Laxus could speak up, Natsu forced himself to stand and was hopping towards her. Face red with his own rage. 

"You cannot do this. You are breaking your promise to me, to Happy. To always be our partner," He growled at her. 

She didn't hesitate as she slapped him. Shocking him as he fell over. Lucy glared down at him, hurt and angry as she started to cry. 

"No, no I am not. I never said I wasn't your friend, I never said we couldn't or wouldn't do missions together. I am just temporarily leaving the team to get my own shit in order. To do what you did, find my self. Or am I supposed to just be silent, allow you to push me around, drag me all over the damn place. Placing me in danger, being frozen, burnt, beaten and broken? Insulted and made to think I am fat when I am not? If so, then it is you who don't think of me as anything more than something you own and can do what you want," she unloaded on him, screaming again. "I am done. I am going home. I will have that Shrink report for you when I return in a few days. Now, I will go take my walk of shame." 

Not waiting to be dismissed she spun on the ball of her feet and marched stiff-backed from the office. Head and gaze straight forward not looking at anyone. But the fact that the whole guild was silent meant they had heard everything said when her voice had been raised. 

 

**000**

 

Bickslow had gotten to the guild well before Lucy. And had been shocked when Virgo marched in with Gray, Natsu, and Happy hogtied and deposited them in Laxus' office. He was rather impressed and shocked as the Maid Spirit looked at him and gave him a small, grateful smile. He didn't have to ask why she smiled like that at him, he knew it was because he helped Lucy. 

When said person showed up almost thirty minutes later still dressed in her clothes from the night before. It was a bit concerning but he had done nothing to indicate he was aware. In fact, he had curled himself around his plate of food and ate it. At least until raised voices from Laxus' office floated out and caused the guild to go silent. 

Hearing Lucy unload what had driven her to drink and being standoffish. And it was not pretty. Hearing her say she had sacrificed her own spirit, who was her mothers to save them all, yeah, in his opinion was more than justified to be bitchy. Bickslow knew that if presented with that option by his own babies wouldn't be able to do it. So, he lifted his head up and saw the awe and horror on Freed's and Ever's face. They knew. They understood to a degree. 

When Lucy kept on talking, about how they all just left her there. And how Natsu had put her unwillingly into a contract without her consent before everyone left her behind. Abandoning her essentially Bickslow flinched feeling like shit. He'd seen her soul, knew she was in pain. But with all that had happened, like everyone else, he'd just worried about himself and his team. Unaware of her whole team just leaving her behind. Then getting into the war with Alvarez. 

Bickslow couldn't help it as his eyes go wide as he caught Freed's and Ever's gazes. Finding out about her family. The connects that they all had to the events that had played out. The reason for why her mother had passed. It explained a lot. And it pissed him off to hear that she would repeat saving Natsu by rewriting the book of E.N.D. at the cost of her own soul and life force.  No person should have to do that to save someone. Even if they were dying. That bonded them together on an, even more, deeper level, via the soul. It had him feeling rather ill. 

"Bickslow, are you alright?" Ever asked him, as she settled one of her tiny gloved hands on his shoulder. 

Slowly he nodded his head as he continued to listen on everything. Lucy was not being very quiet. And it had him pulling away as he heard her explain her decision to quit her team. How she had come up with three options. Glancing out over the guild from where they sat on the second floor he saw a few people crying, others looking guilty and remorseful and remiss. Hell, he knew he was feeling it as well. That she just admitted to wanting to commit suicide right after Tartaros because she was alone, abandoned by those she saw as her friends and family. All while being nice to her teammates still by just 'temporarily' leaving the team to find herself. 

The moment she walked out he couldn't help but watch her. Holding her head up, looking forward proudly as she left the guild. His ears catching  Laxus ripping into her teammates and clearly stating what the punishment would be in they went anywhere near Lucy's home right now. Something told him that even with the punishment laid out that it wouldn't deter Natsu and Happy. And because of them, it also meant Gray and Erza who'd try to stop them. 

"Do you think Lucy would accept an offer to... ward her home?" Freed asked, his blue eyes dark as he frowned. 

Bickslow knew that Freed had come from the same world as Lucy. A part of the Gentry. The life he ran from, just like Lucy. Though he didn't have invasive team members who didn't appreciate him. Respected his need for privacy and other such things. Bickslow nodded his head once as he watched the rest of Team Natsu leave the office. The ropes were now gone from their person. Each held a dejected look as they hung their heads. Either way, he really didn't care what they were feeling. Though the anger still on Natsu's face was telling. 

Motioning to Freed as he stood, Bickslow entered the office. Seeing Laxus signing what was more than likely the paperwork Lucy had done up to leave her team 'temporarily' officially. When the door shut behind him, he knew that Freed had followed him. 

"What do you need?" Laxus asked after looking up and stamping the paperwork with the official Guild Seal. 

"Freed had an idea. And I second it, Laxus," Bickslow spoke up. 

When Laxus looked past him, he knew that he was interested. 

"I think me setting up some runes to keep anyone Lucy doesn't personally invite into her home out would help her get the privacy needed..." Freed said. 

When both Freed and Ever stepped up on either side of him, Bickslow just looked at Laxus. His best friend, Former team leader, and now Guild Master. He was proud of how far the man had come. And glad to know him. Laxus had kept him out of some serious trouble, gave him a chance and a home. Even with his magic being outlawed and despised across earthland. 

"I think it is a good idea. I mean, Laxus, she got loud enough the whole guild heard," Ever stated, her voice showing that she too felt some shame. 

There was brief silence before Laxus sighed and leaned back. Bickslow knew he was trying to think about whether or not it was a good idea. Or even if Cosplayer would be receptive to it. 

"Fine, but only if she accepts the offer of help, Freed," He stated. "Do any of you know where she lives? Her address is not on file. Hell, her personnel file is probably one of the ones that was destroyed during the hell we have gone through the last two years." 

At this Bickslow smiled as he spoke, "Yeah, I do. Don't ask, it was a fluke." 

The lifted blond eyebrow told Bickslow that Laxus didn't believe him but wasn't going to say a damn thing. 

"Good. Then if you take Freed on your 'babies' can you get there before she is home? If so leave now. Otherwise, I will call her on the Lacrima," Laxus grunted. 

Giving a nod of his head, Bickslow clapped Freed on the back as the little totems formed a platform. Looking at Freed who was less than pleased at the mode of travel, Bickslow stepped up and held out a hand. 

"You know you like being close to me, Freed. Now, let's go see if Lucy wants your particular brand of help," he said, teasing his friends as he let his tongue hang out. 

The deep laugh from Laxus, and soft titter from Evergreen, while Freed flushed darkly and climbed up was all he needed to see and hear. Once he had Freed tucked tightly against his side, he had them zipping out the window and towards Strawberry street, along the canal. He knew who Lucy's Landlady was. The woman was his grandma. Cantankerous but a compassionate and loving woman. Who'd let him still put the runes around the perimeter to protect her property even if Lucy didn't let Freed place them around her apartment? In fact, he knew his grams had complained about property damage a lot and had been meaning to get her together with Freed to discuss runes that would keep the damage to a minimum and forcibly expel the offender who did it.

 

**_TBC_ **


	4. Fit for Duty! Sir!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An all clear from the doctor sends Lucy back to the guild. Where she gets orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or its characters, that right belongs to Hiro Mashima.

**** It had been a whole month since she had quit her team, took a sabbatical to find herself and seek help. And she was rather enjoying the wards that Freed had put up around her building. Hell, her landlady was ecstatic by it. Causing a small drop in the rent. A plus. Right now though, Lucy was waiting for her turn in the office on the other side of the cherry stained and shined to a polish knotted purple pine door. Today was the day she got her eval from the Mage Shrink. 

 

Talking to someone, working through her shit and going to AA meetings had been a good thing. She was feeling more 'herself' than she had in the last two-plus years. Though she knew she was far from being okay. But better was a good start. Smiling as the door opened and she watched as a now familiar face stepped out. Their eyes meeting as he shook his head and walked out of the office. They knew Lucy would keep their secret. Even on her deathbed, she would not tell a soul that Gildarts Clive came to see the Mage Shrink on a regular basis

 

In fact, he had been shocked to see her at one of the twice a week group sessions. No one else from the guild came there that she saw. And she had three appointments a week to get her stuff done. Hypnosis, mental and emotional regression were one visit. Another they just talked and she answered questions when the Therapist asked them. And the other was a spiritual realignment. Something she hadn't thought she needed. But after the first two sessions, she felt the flow of her magic better. Not having been aware it was blocked and stemmed due to misalignment of her Chakra's and her aura and spirit being mucked up. 

 

If she were, to be honest, she felt more powerful, stronger. And in a few of the sessions, she had called out her spirits at the behest of the Mage Shrink to talk with them. Learning even more about each of those spirits and how to bond with them better. Doing little things to make that bond grow and flourish. It had left her feeling ignorant. Her spirits said they couldn't tell her anything if she didn't ask. So, now she knew why Loke was always prowling and Virgo asked for punishment. Both were easily taken care of, while Gemini and Capricorn were a bit harder. Taurus, Ares, Cancer, Scorpio, and Sagittarius were mostly dealt with and she hadn't realized she'd done it. 

 

The feeling of being happier was a good feeling to have as she stood up and strode into the office and smiled at the woman behind the desk. Lucy had been shocked and asked the woman her first day if she was related to Porlyusica. But Liveta stated clearly that the old biddy and here had no blood relations. Though they did get together on occasion and compare stories and notes. Personally, Lucy liked Liveta. 

 

"Ah, Lucy, today is the day isn't it?" the pink haired woman, with tanned skin and vivid red eyes danced merrily at her. 

 

"Yes, ma'am," Lucy replied. 

 

The soft smile the woman gave as she waved a hand for Lucy to sit. She did as bid and waited patiently. Watching as the woman flipped through some papers in a manilla colored folder, writing a few things here and there. When Lucy saw her scribble her signature at the bottom before lifting her red gaze up to meet her own, the smile she saw only made her feel warmer on the inside. 

 

"Remember you still need to come in once a week when not on a mission for your personal session, make one of the group sessions a month, and don't go on missions that are B or above alone Lucy. Your magic is rare and delicate. Those new bonds are still setting in," Levita stated giving her a slightly stern look. "Take a person you know you can trust. And the only one I would recommend from your former team is Erza... Again, no mission higher than a B by yourself, young lady. Also, research your magic more young lady. Ask those questions of your spirits they are meant to help you as well. Thus they are only as strong as you allow yourself to be." 

 

Feeling a slight burning sensation along her eyes and in her nasal cavity, Lucy blinked her eyes to keep the tears at bay. Slowly nodding her head as she took the manilla colored folder and smiled a bright smile. Then in her normal classic manner, Lucy darted around the desk and hugged the woman. Earning a soothing pat on the back and warm sounding chuckle. 

 

"Now, get out of my office till next week. Take that to Laxus you Lady," Levita snapped. 

 

With a laugh, Lucy drew back and skipped out of the office. It was time for her to go to the Guild for the first time in a month. Time to start facing her Real Life Demons so to speak. It did make her feel a bit self-conscious, nervous, and even hesitant. But Lucy knew she had it in her to do this. She had faced death, the end of the world, loss of many kinds in her twenty-seven years. So, this was something she could do. 

 

**000**

 

She didn't pause outside the doors after reaching the guild. Nope, she knew that would serve no purpose. Taking a deep breath she pushed the doors open and strode in. Glad it was semi-quiet, no brawl going on. The looks on people's faces as they noticed her. Seeing the concern, worry, guilt, sadness, regret. Tilting her head to the side, Lucy flashed them all a brilliant grin. 

 

"Hiya! I hope you all have been good!" She said in a truly happy voice. 

 

It was like a spell broke as she was immediately tackled by a few people. Her arms wrapping around Wendy and Cana who were hugging her. While she had head rubs, back pats, and a pinch to her ass. Making her laugh enjoying it all. Lucy had missed her friends, her family. This place was her real home, not her apartment or Magnolia. 

 

"Hey, Blondie!" 

 

Her head drifted up she saw Laxus looking down at her from the second floor. His stormy blue-gray eyes reflecting the smile on his face. 

 

"You're Blond too!" she exclaimed back earning a loud round of laughter from those in gathered in the guild. 

 

"Get your scrawny ass up here. I think you have something for me?" he stated as he shook his head at her response before turning and heading back into his office. 

 

It took a bit to get there. After she detached the first two she had Levy and Mira hug her, another pinch to her derriere, a slap to the back, more head pats, and from Gajeel who had the audacity to ruffle her hair out of it's coiffed bun.  Though she didn't snap at him as she would normally. She knew he was happy to see her again and allowed it. (only this once though) And was glad he didn't call her bunny girl. 

 

As she mounted the steps, she saw that the Raijinshuu was gathered at their normal table, Erza and Gildarts were there as well. And tucked in the back corner was their former Master Makarov. She gave them all a bright smile and a quick wave before walking with a distinct bounce in her step into Laxus' office. Making sure to shut the door behind her. Feeling magic crawl over her and through the room, making her pause in confusion. 

 

"Eh, after Freed got back from warding your house I asked him to put specific runes around and in my office. That way what is said in here is no longer heard out there. And no one can break in, cause any type of damage either," Laxus explained as he pointed to the chair before his desk. 

 

Giving a small nod of her head in understanding, Lucy covered the short distance and sat down. The smile on her lips faltering a bit as his large hand thrust out for what she had been holding onto this whole time. Swallowing visibly she handed him the folder and waited as he read through it. His face shifting through a few various expressions and emotions. Something she knew that before Tenrou that he'd be incapable of doing.

 

"I see. Levita gave you the go ahead but still requires a few visits with you. And, I would prefer that you didn't take any solo missions at all, Lucy. You've been through some serious shit. I don't wanna have you accidentally get in a bad situation on a mission gone wrong. Please always take at least one person with you, even if it is just Wendy," Laxus said as he looked up from the folder and at her. "You do have some weird karmatic charm that draws murphy and his fucked up law to your ass and BOOM trouble." 

 

Unable to help it, Lucy felt her jaw drop open in shock. Laxus Dreyar, her Guild Master was teasing her? Cracking a Joke, with her of all people? Had she walked into the fucking twilight zone? Was she under some mental magic? Dreaming? 

 

"Stop that. This is real. And I am just having some fun. But seriously, I meant it. Always have a partner on a mission, your track record for shit going sideways is epic Blondie, "Laxus stated in a deadpan voice. 

 

Her mind shifted through all her adventures. And she realized that the guild would have the reports that they were made to fill out after every mission. Thus he'd know about everything. Internally she flinched but her mind logically and rationally conceded to what he was asking. 

 

"Sure, I can do that," she replied, with a small nod of agreement. 

 

"Good. And if you're up to it, my old team hasn't taken a job in a month or so, you can take the rust off the chains and remove those trainers that have been put on by inactivity and take a low mission with them," Laxus suggested. 

 

This had Lucy pulling back, arching an eyebrow and looking at him. She knew he was serious by the flat, yet expectant, look he was giving her. Somehow she figured this wasn't replanned. She knew that his team had money to spare since they only took S-class mission. The pay for those, on top of a private request, were astronomical compared to what she was used to. 

 

"You can tell them I said this is something they have to do as a team. And, Lucy, talk to your teammates. At least Erza and Gray. Natsu is still being a little shit. He is sulking still after a month, claiming you ditched him. Lisanna has taken him on a few missions and now has an appreciation for all the damage control you do," Laxus said again in that deadpan voice. 

 

Giving a slow nod of her head, Lucy stood up when Laxus did. She hadn't even started to move towards the office door before she was enveloped in a spine-crushing hug. It took her a few seconds to register it was Laxus hugging her before her body relaxed so her spine wasn't actually crushed at all. 

 

"Welcome back, Lucy. This place wasn't the same without its light," he whispered as he let her go. 

 

Stumbling a bit as she found her balance, Lucy looked up at Laxus. Seeing something in his eyes. Something that was vulnerable. And it struck her hard. It was the same thing she'd seen in everyone's eyes downstairs. He too had felt guilty. Reaching up a hand, she flicked his nose making him jerk back and growl. 

 

"Get over it. What is done is done. I already forgave most of you. Some I will require an actual verbal apology that is mean," She said over her shoulder as she sauntered towards the office door. 

 

Lucy paused for but a second to look over her shoulder at the large blond Slayer. Seeing a happy smile lighting up his face, relief causing his eyes to lighten a few shades. Then giving a playful wink she pulled the door open and stepped out. Ready to do as she was bid. In the order, she was bid to do it in.

* * *

 

 

He had felt her before she had entered the Guild. And it had him relaxing. Bickslow didn't have to see her soul know it was brighter than the last time. That it held more warmth in it again. So, when Laxus stepped out as a cacophony arose from the first floor, he stayed in his seat. Counting the seconds in his head until he saw her as she crested the last step to the second floor. 

 

She looked happier, healthier. There was no bags under her eyes. Which no longer were dull and despondent. Her skin had a natural flush to the sun-kissed skin as she smiled at them and waved on her way to the office. Sitting back in his chair as his totems floated up from where they had been sitting on the table and circled around him. The tiny little souls in them flickering to his mood as they acknowledged he was happy and content for the moment.

 

"Well, she looks better that is for sure," Freed stated as he flipped the page of the tome he was reading. 

 

"Indeed. Her skin is no longer pallid and blemished. And her smile is just as radiant," Ever stated as she tapped her newly filed nails on the smooth table top. 

 

Chuckling softly, Bickslow was glad that his teammates and friends were acknowledging Lucy. Each knew that she was a unique and powerful mage in her own right having seen what she could do. Hell, in the month she was gone Freed had become obsessed with her magic after hearing Natsu state how it worked. Ever had always thought it was pretty with the poofy glitter clouds the spirits arrived through, that and Lucy was just as concerned with fashion as she was. 

 

So, when the door opened and Lucy stepped out, Bickslow waited as he watched her walk towards their table and then past. Hearing as she talked softly to Erza, Makarov, and Gildarts. Who he wasn't aware knew Lucy that well due to being gone all the time. But from the sound of it, the man knew her really well. Feeling a small twinge, he shoved it away as Lucy asked Erza to get Gray, Natsu, and Happy. That she needed to talk with them, catch up. 

 

Once a watery whimper escaped Erza as she agreed. Just for the redhead to practically rushing past her. Keeping his eyes on the table Bickslow pulled his magic in, causing his babies to come back and sit on the table. They could still talk just not fly around without the steady supply of his magic, as Lucy walked back their way, stopping between him and Evergreen and clearing her throat to get all of their attention.

 

"Hey, I was voluntold by our esteemed Guild Leader that I am to go on a mission with all of you. So, I quote, 'I can take the rust off the chains and remove those trainers that have been put on by inactivity' end quote," Lucy stated. "And I don't think grumpy pants will take no for an answer. Just has to be a low-level mission in case my luck decides it wants to fuck with me, us?"

Bickslow practically froze up at those words. He'd been spending some time talking with Laxus. Knew that his best friend knew a lot more than he let on. He'd been watching the guild for years. Then really paid attention after being allowed back into the guild. Hell, a few drunk conversations had let slip a lot of important information to the man. But Laxus was discrete even if he was brusque and blunt. And the team hadn't been out on a mission in almost three months. 

 

"How low is low on the mission scale?" Freed asked as he marked his tome and closed it. 

 

Evergreen was sitting up and looking at Lucy with intent from behind her glasses. Bickslow knew she had her keen little mind swirling at the things that she could talk to Lucy about. Not many of the other women in the guild approached Evergreen. Something Bickslow thought was BS because she was a really sweet woman. Just she had to have a tough front to keep up with the rest of her team. She damn well earned her spot on the Raijinshuu. 

 

"Well, how does a C or B level sound? I mean I don't wanna be zapped by the walking short circuit for disregarding his command," Lucy stated, stiffening and giving a cheeky smile as a low growl erupted from the office. 

 

Bringing up a hand to cover his mouth to smother his laughter, while Ever did the same, Freed just gave a polite smile. The two elder mages in the back were doing their best to hide their chuckles in their tankards. It was so refreshing to see Lucy be herself again. Smart, witty, and feisty. Though he knew, even without looking, that her soul would still show she was still hurt and healing. And this was partially a front to hide that. 

 

"I think we could handle a B-rank. There is quite a few. Some that require us to travel," Ever stated as her eyes narrowed in thought. "One goes to Stella. And another to Minstrel." 

 

The squeal of happiness from Lucy had his ears ringing. Seh was literally standing six inches from him. And her only being five feet two inches and him being six feet and six inches it put his poor head level with her own. The sympathetic look he got from Ever as Freed lifted a hand up rubbed at the temple next to his own ear. 

 

"Oh, sorry..." Lucy mumbled. "But yes, I would love to go to Stella or Minstrel. Both places are on my list of dream places to go." 

 

"Good! We can look at the mission slips and then decide based on the rewards. But first, I think you have to do something," Freed stated. 

 

There were a few seconds of silence as Erza stopped on the second to top stair and looked at their group. He could see the pain and longing in her brown eyes as she stared at Lucy. Knew it would be a really hard adjustment for her and the rest of the team to know that Lucy wouldn't be going on missions with them again, for a long while. Reaching over he brushed his hand against Lucy's under the table. Only to feel her grab his hand and give it a silent squeeze before she was moving towards her friend and former Team Mate. 

 

Bickslow watched and wished her luck silently. Internally he was happy. He'd get to take a mission with his team again and Lucy. But he knew not to get his hopes up, he knew that she was still too good for some nobody like himself. Hell, Freed would understand her more since they both came from the Gentry and had studied up on her magic. Though it had been shared with them all. 

 

"Stop that boy!" Papa snapped in his head. 

 

Turning his eyes to the angry looking totem. "I can't help it." 

 

"Bullshit, Boy! You have a lot to offer. It doesn't matter what a person knows or where they come from. What matters is the honesty and care. Get to know her for her, not her past, her magic. But the woman you admire," Papa muttered. "It is all you can do. You both are human." 

 

Sighing and lifting a hand to run it over his head, smoothing his mohawk back, Bickslow knew the advice was sound. Just he couldn't really help feeling the way he felt. Conflicted.

 

**_TBC_ **


End file.
